After two days of cleaning and reorganization (interrupted by memories in the form of old cards and songs), my bedroom sparkles a little more. The contents of the closet and dresser have been set to rights, the air smells faintly of natural pink grapefruit cleaner, the window candle, frog candle, and twinkle lights have have been lit, and the Harry Simeone chorale is playing through the computer speakers. The room feels more like a sanctuary again, but I wonder how much of that is the clean ambience and how much is the fact that I simply have more time to enjoy it, now that the last papers have been turned in and I await the semester’s grades.
Having always been a proponent of the benefits of free/alone time and rest, I took the beginning of grad school a bit hard. It took, I think, a semester and a half to resign myself to having little leisure time. My fellow grad students and I made fun of the Sports & Leisure majors in the Writing Center. “You can major in leisure?” I got used to always looking to the next thing when one thing was finished: the next paper, the next reading, the next meeting. I think part of the reason this semester went so well for me was because I finally entrenched myself in that mindset. I was an academic machine, and I would conquer two part-time jobs, church volunteer work, a boyfriend, and family on top! Roar.
Diligence and hard work are really good. Multitasking and managing multiple people's expectations successfully makes you feel mature and accomplished. It IS, basically, the definition of maturity.
Which is why we often feel guilty and childish when we rest. Because to be an adult means to work, and meet demands, and keep up a good reputation. When that breaks down, or we choose, for a moment, to not worry so much about those things, our actions are attended by a strange pressure, something uncomfortable that pulls us in the direction of effort, because we should at least be doing something.
I’m just not so sure about that. I’m not going to dive into fractions or percentages, or say that even God took a day off after creation, but I am convinced, deep in my spirit that ebbs into peace in this quiet, dimly lit room, that we are meant to rest, and to behold both our creations and God’s, and acknowledge, and revere, and see, and listen.
I am so glad Christmas gives me the opportunity to see. I love that it is a season of watchfulness, both a beholding of what is and an expectation of what is to come. We are meant to rest in this.
Magnificat anima mea Dominum,
et exsultavit spiritus meus in Deo salvatore meo.
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On Cleaning and Resting
December 21, 2010 at 5:23 pm (Christianity/Faith, Commentary, Personality)
After two days of cleaning and reorganization (interrupted by memories in the form of old cards and songs), my bedroom sparkles a little more. The contents of the closet and dresser have been set to rights, the air smells faintly of natural pink grapefruit cleaner, the window candle, frog candle, and twinkle lights have have been lit, and the Harry Simeone chorale is playing through the computer speakers. The room feels more like a sanctuary again, but I wonder how much of that is the clean ambience and how much is the fact that I simply have more time to enjoy it, now that the last papers have been turned in and I await the semester’s grades.
Having always been a proponent of the benefits of free/alone time and rest, I took the beginning of grad school a bit hard. It took, I think, a semester and a half to resign myself to having little leisure time. My fellow grad students and I made fun of the Sports & Leisure majors in the Writing Center. “You can major in leisure?” I got used to always looking to the next thing when one thing was finished: the next paper, the next reading, the next meeting. I think part of the reason this semester went so well for me was because I finally entrenched myself in that mindset. I was an academic machine, and I would conquer two part-time jobs, church volunteer work, a boyfriend, and family on top! Roar.
Diligence and hard work are really good. Multitasking and managing multiple people's expectations successfully makes you feel mature and accomplished. It IS, basically, the definition of maturity.
Which is why we often feel guilty and childish when we rest. Because to be an adult means to work, and meet demands, and keep up a good reputation. When that breaks down, or we choose, for a moment, to not worry so much about those things, our actions are attended by a strange pressure, something uncomfortable that pulls us in the direction of effort, because we should at least be doing something.
I’m just not so sure about that. I’m not going to dive into fractions or percentages, or say that even God took a day off after creation, but I am convinced, deep in my spirit that ebbs into peace in this quiet, dimly lit room, that we are meant to rest, and to behold both our creations and God’s, and acknowledge, and revere, and see, and listen.
I am so glad Christmas gives me the opportunity to see. I love that it is a season of watchfulness, both a beholding of what is and an expectation of what is to come. We are meant to rest in this.
Magnificat anima mea Dominum,
et exsultavit spiritus meus in Deo salvatore meo.
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